One day at a time

The new year arrived and already the first month is gone. It was a very sad and rather depressing month for me. Mom had her surgery but it wasn't successful so we must just watch her dwindle away. She has lost about 30 pounds...thankfully she had gained quite a bit earlier last year so that is not as bad as it sounds. She doesn't recognize any of us now. I don't know who she thinks anyone really is. She talks to us but only to answer questions we ask her and then only part of the time. She thinks that I am my Aunt Marjorie, though, so I do have an identity with her. Of course, there has never been a time in her life that her sister hasn't been there. When she is awake, she mostly stares or cries softly for her mama and sometimes for her daddy and big brother. She is past the state when she was afraid of my dad and wanting me to hide her from him or pick the kids up from school so he doesn't get them or make sure all the doors are locked and don't let him in. I hated to see her re-live those times. It was heartbreaking enough the first time. Now she is back when she was a little girl. During the holidays, First United Methodist Church in Seguin brought stuffed animals to all of the residents where she lives. Mom received a small white bear with a red bow around its neck. She holds it and often falls asleep with it beside her. The doctors say that she will only live a few more weeks. The pressure on the brain from the fluid is already effecting the body functions and her body is starting to shut down. HOSPICE was called in last week and everyone is simply trying to make sure she is comfortable and not in any pain. My birthday was especially sad because I know she will not be here for the next one. The reality of the matter is that I may not be either for all we know. Things happen and none of us have any guarantees.

On the brighter side, business has continued to be good for Crimson Cactus even after the holidays. Sarah and I have been busy filling orders and working on new products. It has been good for me to focus on and helps relieve the stress. We are making plans now for several shows and events to attend during 2013. Allen has started carving again and has some projects that he is working on that we will include on the website. The only downside to all of this is that my kitchen and living room tend to look more like a workshop than our home. It's not too bad though.

Right now, we are pretty much just living one day at a time and hoping for the best.